A Dialogue with my Computer


Amazon recently had a lot of games on sale, including Bioshock 1 & 2 for $5 total. I’ve been hearing for years that the series was good, but I’m not super fond of FPS (especially ones that tend to scare me) so I’d always avoided it. Infinite is supposed to be excellent though, and $5 is a damn good price for the prequels. I played through Bioshock 1 and I really enjoyed it. I was anxious to start playing Bioshock 2, but I had to wait for the install and then wait until the kids were napping. Things didn’t exactly go as planned. This is basically the dialogue I had with my PC:

“You need a game key to play Bioshock 2.”


“That’s wrong.”

Fifteen minutes later. Apparently Amazon game keys and Steam keys are different. “Ok, time to play!”

“Nope. You need to sign in to Windows LIVE to play single player. ”

“Er…k. Sign me up for LIVE. ”

“You need to create an XBOX account. ”

“I’m playing on a PC!”

“Doesn’t matter. You need an XBOX account.”

“Ok, sign me up for that.”

“But first you need a LIVE account!”

“So I need a LIVE account and an XBOX account?”


“Fine. Sign me up for LIVE.”

“Thank you for giving me lots of personal information. You now have a LIVE account.”

“Sign me up for XBOX.”


Changes all privacy settings on account to high. Restarts game. “Ok, time to play!”

“Hold on there. You need to sign into your LIVE account!”

“Done.” Selects Automatic Sign In “Time to play!”

“Not yet! First I need to install some LIVE updates. You need to close the game first. Oh, and I might need to restart your computer.”


“Can you get me past your Firewall? Now can do dirty things to your hard drive?”

“Yes. Now can I play?” Restarts game.

“No! First you need to sign into LIVE again, then apply another update. Please quit the game.”

More changes to hard drive and Bioshock 2 Set Up Wizard. Game started on its own. I take this as a good sign.

“Please sign in again. Ok, now wait while I download your profile. This could take a few minutes. That should just about do it…and….”

bioshock fail

“Oh you gotta be kidding me.”

Thankfully, the game worked fine after that. Unfortunately, an hour of naptime was gone by the time I was able to play.


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